Time

I'm not sure either, how long am I going to take for this healing process. Hewhew

Nevermind, just want to share that I still can't get enough of I Need U, I mean, the live version is amazing, the slow jam ver is also daebak, not to mention the japanese ver, their pronounciation is awesome seriously, the melody, I like every bits of the song. I've listened to every possible version that I've encountered, and it was all amazing. Dope. Really.

The fact that the MV consist of story related with butterly prologue and RUN MV, dang it. And how the story unravels itself into a butterly effect, it's pretty clear. The boys knew what are they doing with their life, when I'm still contemplating of what I want to pursue after I've graduated.

Nah, I don't wish to finish what I was talking above there, besides I Need U, I strongly suggest you guys to listen to Let Me Know. Talking about this song, I fell in love with this song the first time I listened to it. The melody, Taehyung's voice echoing singing the first verse. It was on a live performance, I google-ed the translation lyrics to get a picture of what emotions is flowing with the song. The lyrics caught me off guard, it was about a lingering feelings, incomplete, a song of sorrow and broken hearts. That's when I knew I'm going for weeks humming Let Me Know. And it's proven. I still love the feelings that I get when I listen to Let Me Know, for real. I thought my feelings were unreal, but then it wasn't. Min Yoongi just put my thoughts, my insecurities, my feelings into words. He even said himself that it was his favourite track in Dark and Wild, and I'm proud (hewhew) to be his fans and literally falling head over heels for his lyrics. Oh yes, I forgot, PARK JIMIN'S FALSETTO is no joke. He did it even better during live performance, how can I unstan these dorks  . They can be goofy at times, but on stage. WOW. Really. They showed the best of them on stage, that's why I sometimes I hate them. It's jealousy doing the part. How did they even - they're perfect, they have an alternate persona, they works wonder, they did a really good jod.

Their hard work certainly pay off. Without fail. I hope I can be like them someday, I will work hard towards my dream. I'll be proud of myself and I'll be patting my shoulder, saying I really did a good job too. Thanks to BTS for inspiring me. :)

Home

Hi. Erm. It's good to be home. So amirah just finished doing my hair just now, yeah. And it is nice, she rarely does this thing actually. (And if she does, it usually ended up in a simple ponytail) hahaha i snap a photo of myself but haha I'm not going to post it here ofc. Kuangkuang. Bye.

151222

7 Years of Love

Kyuhyun's voice never disappoints, have you guys listened to his latest song? Seriously, I liked it the first time I listen to it. At Gwanghamun, ahhhh this song title reminds me of Sassy Girl Chun Hyang tbh. But that park name was Gwanghallu. It's about the same tho.

7 years of love, brings plenty of memories duh, I can't remember much but I've liked Kyuhyun since I was 14, back in my high school time. I remember I did a Super Junior folio for our music class assignment ahahha we were so into Super Junior that time, me and Jasmine. His voice range is so broad I had a really hard time singing this song because some part, the bridge is really out of my reach. He can go from low range to falsetto easily duhhh, not to mention the smoothness in his angelic voice.
Me:  Breathless. Stop.

Rindu

But why?

"She's my another half"

But how?

"I just know, and the fact that I only realized how much she meant to me after she left. It was devastating. I only have the slightest chance to meet her, again,"

You can meet her.

"Yeah, and the fact that she reminds me of someone that left me, long time ago, someone dear to me. It's hard when you know you didn't appreciate her presence back then,"

What are you planning to do now?

"I don't know, I just hope I don't forget this feelings I have for her. I just want to miss her, no matter how long, I want to keep on missing her, and him"

Let Me Know

Waiting

For a while

and now that I look back

I've lost track of time

Searching for you

The memories that was carved upon my hearts

In the midst of the silent nights

All I can hear

Is your whispering voice

Singing to me

Sending chills down my spine

Your innermost thoughts

Where can I find you?

Loneliness caught onto me

Awake from dream

Suffocating

I don't want to be back

to reality

Where you're not there

Hello

Me:  Hello
The other side (1):  Hello ara ara ara
 The other side (2): Ara, ara ara dia tau tak *blablabla*

Pastu mak bisinglah. Suruh panggil kakak

//repeat for the next call//

Don't fall in love with her

Don't fall in love with her

For you don't know what you've gotten yourself into 

For one moment she's the girl that can 

laughs out loud as if the world was hers

but another

Turns into a little monster, that kept hidden 

her greatest fear

Don't fall in love with her

For you might find yourself falling hard into

her strongest charm, which you find yourself can't resist

For you might went crazy with her

knowing how scattered her mind is

Don't fall in love with her 

For she might be oblivious to your presence

Too immersed in her guarded worlds

She will keep all her thoughts of you 

replaying it again and again when is reminded by you

Don't fall in love with her

You'll find it hard for yourself

Knowing how she tried to erase every flawed memories of you

Being hard on herself, blaming herself 

for all that has happened. For trusted you

She will always find love

underneath the shits that you threw at her

Don't fall in love with her

She will want to understand you 

The good and the bad

She will want to remember you

The one that you think embarassing

Your random thoughts that struck up at 3am 

Your quirks and remarks

Keeping it in between her notes. Smiling

Wondering what's there for more

Don't fall in love with her 

You'll be ashamed. Just like everyone else

Knowing how she is

For how she's fallen for you

Gave you her all

Her hope, her dreams, her loss and her thoughts

Don't fall in love with her

12月 7日

A love to kill

"I love you so much and it's killing me.
I've fallen so hard and before it could crushes me, I need to back off.
I hope I can still survive, this little piece of me that's left."


12月 9日

When I was

When I was: 15
I was dating: No one
I wanted to be: A pharmacist (or a dancer) hahah
Favourite song was: Bonamana by Super Junior
Biggest fear: PMR? Idk, don't remember much bad memories

Now I am: 20
I'm dating: Min Yoongi. Hahaha. I've none irl lol
I want to be: a psychologist, traveler, translator, pharmacist, kindergarten teacher, businesswoman
Favourite song is: I Need U by BTS
Biggest fear is: Losing my sanity

Passing Judgement

A few years ago, a 24 year old boy seeing out from the train’s window shouted…
“Dad, look the trees are going behind us!”
As his Dad smiled,  a young couple sitting nearby, looked at the 24 year old’s childish behaviour with pity, when suddenly he again exclaimed…
“Dad, look the clouds are running with us!”
The couple couldn’t resist and said to the old man…
“Why don’t you take your son to see a good doctor?”
The old man smiled and said…

“I did and we are just coming from the hospital, my son was blind from birth and he just got his eyes today.”

Every person in the world has their own individual story. Many times this story of the life may turn out being something that we never knew anything about. Sometimes, we don’t REALLY know what makes a person “tick” because of something that they may have experienced at some point of their life.
Why do I say this? Because sometimes we judge and create opinions about someone without even knowing them. We really should make it a goal each day not to judge people before we truly know them.
The truth might surprise you.

A Song For You

Rindu mak, rindu ayah. Rindu nak sembang ngan aslinda, rindu nak fangirling dengan mirah, aisyah. Rindu nak buli faiz. Rindu nak peluk Farid kuat kuat. Rindu nak buli cemenit, kacau dia main. Tiap kali angkat barang berat teringat kat ayah, ayah sangat cool, sangat dependable. Rindu ayah. Rindu mak, nak cerita pasal abangtan kakak. Nak tunjuk hiphop monster tu kat mirah ngan aisyah. Nak bawak depa pi bukit dumbar jalan-jalan. Rindu semua, rindu Penang.

U.S.R.A.H

Ini Sejarah Usrah

Something

I hate living a life of a puppet.
Doing what we're told.
Shaping into what we're not.
Living in the stagnant atmosphere suffocate me

101415

Waiting | 기다려

I don't mind living with people with different sets of morals and beliefs, but one thing that tires me the most is when they expect you to fit in the crowd. Forcing you into something that you're not in, questioning every decisions that you've made and yet to make. But I don't want you guys to leave me alone nor do I want to upset you guys with my weaknesses. If only you could understand me more, I sincerely wish you do.

Min Yoongi~

Bajet Suga, asyik cakap pasal suara dia ja.
Taula suara sedap
-,-

Procrastinate #2

Waktu nak kena siapkan assignment la rasa macam nak bukak youtube, dengar lagu Britney Spears, nak tengok fancafe update, nak belajar hangul, nak update blog, nak tengok perkembangan terkini cinta hati. Pastu nak buat poem bagai, nak fikir idea untuk next donation project lagi. 

Ini juga dikira sebagai procrastinate eh?

Procrastinate

I'mma gonna live forever

Say I'mma gonna live forever~

*NO YOU WON'T* 

I used to be a hardcore fan of a German rock band. *guess what*

And they're gay//

My life was a total lie

Bye

But then, I think I still like their songs duh

After 5 years

ahh, Strify

I was your hardcore fan back then, 

Still hoping that you guys will perform together as a group. :(

BYE

뒤돌아보지 말고

My stars shine bright

So bright so far

And the morning sun sets up high

7 am and I'm ready

Even when the world turns their backs on me

I have you

Clenched my fist and be brave

Your voice accompanied me

Putting my beats into rest

Just smile

10月 7日

kimi no koto

Waking up,
Be bright, search for meaning
in all these pleasure
Determine your goal
and work for it
As the days passed by
Remind yourself, don't let
the fears engulf you
Don't let the trash
torn you apart
Be brave
and stand for yourself


10月 5日

Throwback Em-Mar-Rest-Em

Waktu hari manifesto BWP, aku penah kena bash ngan sorang budak perempuan ni. She asked about the connection of washing machine and Biro Akademik, (one of my manifesto was about to set up washing machine in the hostel). And I was like, ohh. okay. "Mestila banyak kaitan, blablabla(I can't remember clearly what did I say lol)" And honestly, I didn't feel offended at all. We've never spoke to each other before, nor do I have enemies at school. erm. well, I think I have none. I THINK. xP

But after the incident, agak ramai jugakla orang yang backed up aku. Kawan kelas, kawan BWP, kawan homeroom, roommate semua. Dan tak kurang jugak yang butthurt bagi pihak aku. SORRY GUYS BUT THIS IS IT. And then mai kat aku cakap budak perempuan tu camni camtu, aku actually rasa kesian kat budak tu. She's actually a second intake student. Probably sebab tu la ramai yg backlashed dia balik sebab kacau student kesayangan cikgu-cikgu serta para pelajar maktab. They made such a huge fuss over the incident, when I thought of nothing. Like honestly, NOTHING guys. IT WAS NOTHING. Dia tanya soalan je pun. Maybe nada dia menyindir, tapi okay je lah. manifesto kannn, mestilah ada sesi bash-membash. I took it on a professional level lah, tapi serius kesian, sampai habis maktab ada lagi orang yang cakap pasal insiden tu kat aku. Lol. Kenapa aku tak rasa apa-apa, tapi depa semua rasa sakit hati. erm. Conclusionnya, saya minta maaf pada pelajar yang tersebut tu. Saya tak rasa mahu cari gaduh dengan awak pun, tetapi mungkin banyak berita buruk tersebar sebab manifesto tu. ahahha. Minta maaf. Semoga berjaya dunia dan akhirat amiin. K yang tu ja, ada jugak orang yang undi aku rupanya hahaha. adalah~ dalam undian ketiga terbanyak dalam kalangan student perempuan ahhahaha lol K.

Tapi dalam banyak banyak, aku paling tak suka part pakai blazer waktu perhimpunan rasmi. uwahghgfjwg. Dewan tu dah la panas gila. Ada sekali tu, aku menangis sebab makcik jual ais kacang tak bagi ais kacang kat aku. aku menangis teruk kut. Ya lah, aku tunggu punya lama depan dia, ada kah patut dia bagi orang lain dulu. Takpalah makcik, saya anggap makcik tak nampak saya sebab saya ni kecik sangat . hmm,


                                                                           
                                                                                                               8月17日

lololo

I've been spamming my twitter account with fangirling post, BTS, and tons of bangtan trash. I feel bad to my irl followers, lol. like, that's kinda embarassing and hmm, idk how to put it into words so yeah.

 And this means that I basically have nowhere to write my random thoughts lol. Apart from my diary and hp notes. But it seriously is no fun because I need to feel as if someone is reading my thoughts so I can actually feel better. Lol weirdo. 

Maybe I should post them on this blog? 

But they're usually just a few lines, 

but then, nothing can be done about it. 

So I guess this is okay.

What should I do after all.? hmm

Normal

What is your definition of normal?

Not sure though, but I've stuck with this statement for about five month.

Nvm, let's just leave that. someday it will pop out of nowhere, and I'll be left wondering who I am again. I want to do whatever I want to, whatever I like to. But then, my time, my friends, my body - it feels like I've been controlled. I feel stuck. I regret myself taking this course, it took the tolls on myself.
Where is the solitude that I always anticipated for? Why do people ruin it?

Waiting
For a while
and now that I look back
I've lost track of time
Searching for you

The memories that was carved upon my hearts
In the midst of the silent nights
All I can hear is
Your whispering voice
Singing to me
Sending chills down my spine
Your innermost thoughts
Where can I find you?
Nowhere to found

Loneliness caught onto me
Awake from dream
Suffocating
I don't want to be back
to reality
Where you're not there
                                               
                                                                             9月 29日

Reply

*cough*
Maybe it's because they're going through hard times. Escaping the reality and waiting for someone to save them, that may be what they are secretly wishing for. They are putting their thoughts into words, not into real. But my opinion is that, this only applies to those of spiritually healthy-but with broken hearts . Haha.
But the main concern is- they are schoolgirls. And yes, the media is feeding us with twisted idea of 'love' and 'relationship' . young girls idolized that perfect kind of love stories and hoping to end up like one, often failed to understand how the reality really is. Maybe teacher can (need to) provide reassurance and guidance to those girls, they will rebel (the violent one might snap back at you, yeah, I'm not sure) , but it's worth it. Doesn't matter if they really listen to your advise or not, but you (really) need to try. One day they will understand insyaAllah.

Caught off guard

leading a normal life isn't enough

Persona

in the midst of hating myself for all the stupid, and shitty things I've done back then.

hating my own personality, created a persona to back up

in a confused state.

unable to decide

unable to judge which and which